Hoosier State of Mind

Day 1: Already missing Milwaukee
written by Bryan Hager, ESPN 8 The Ocho expert



Journalists are journeymen as well. Nomads. They always have to be ready to move on. Same thing happened to me. Some time yesterday I got an message on the Facebook chat from my boss, LeBron James. He told me that the Milwaukee Bucks team has folded, and it was time for me to move on to another team. Initially, I was like "Sure, ok", I wasn't a big fan of Milwaukee as city or the people that live there. But when I asked "Where's my next stop? LA or Miami?", the answer made me think about my hate towards the cheeseheads. Why? Well, I had two options, and none was LA or Miami. Basically Milwaukee was "LA or Miami" for my future destinations. You wonder what two options I had to choose from? New Jersey and Indiana. And not even East Rutherford, it's Newark this season for the Nets.
So, I pick Indiana. Why? The coin-toss said so, that's why.

This morning I landed in Indianapolis. Went to the motel ESPN paid me to live in until I can find something better. The shithole.

Around lunch I had the first scheduled meeting with the Pacers management, so I spent the few hours in the motel room on some fine 35$ whore .... no no just kidding, I spent the time thinking what do i know about Indiana Pacers. Reggie? Check. Bar Brawls?
Check. J.O'Neal's contract? Check. Indiana Hoosiers? Check, well un-check, this has nothing to do with IU. What else? Not much.
So with the basic info and google memory update I went to the meeting. There was some tall white guy waiting. I introduced myself: "Hi, I'm Bryan, ESPN, I'm gonna cover your season". He said "Nice to meet you, Larry." I was thinking *Like oh wow mister bigshot from Indiana doesnt even have a last name...*
We sat down at the table, I opened my notebook, and was prepared for another arrogant interview, at least I was used on that back in Milwaukee...

Bryan Hager: Thank you for the time, I know you got a busy schedule. *yeah sure, milking cows and such...*
Larry: No, problem. I have always time for the press.
BH: Ok, cool... *30 seconds of staring at him* ... wait, you look familiar. I met you somewhere before? We met? You that tall cross-dresser from Toronto? What's his name? Chris sth...
Larry: *giggles like a happy 12-yr-old schoolgirl* No, I'm not him, I mean she, I mean... No, that's not me.
BH: Wait, I know you from somewhere... You were an actor? Yeah you were. Where have i seen you? Horror movie? *at this moment this was a one man interview, with me asking and answering questions* No. It was that Michael Jordan movie... no it was that movie with Nick Nolte. And Shaq was in it, and the small guy... Penny, yeah that's right. You were the tall guy who helped him recruit that hillbilly guy...
Larry: *a little upset* Yeah I was in "Blue Chips", and in "Space Jam"... But you seriously don't recognize me?
BH: No, sorry I don't really know the names of supporting cast actors.
Larry: But, I'm not an actor. I played basketball.
BH: Yeah sure you did...
Larry: Are you serious? You haven't heard about Larry Bird?
BH: Bird as in Sue Bird?
Larry: *clearly upset* Larry Bird as in Larry Bird the 3 Time NBA Champion!!!
BH: Oh, that Larry. Why didn't you say so...
Larry: Shall we continue?
BH: Ok. Let's go. First one and we gonna go straight to the important stuff. Your expectations of the new season?
Larry: I would be happy with 50% wins, extremely happy. We have as you see an young team, with only few experienced guys.
BH: Whom would you point out as the key guy?
Larry: If I say Danny Granger that would be a really no-brainer. But, I'm gonna go with Tyler Hansbrough. If he can be healthy all season, we are having better chances to get those 50%.
BH: For people who don't follow Indiana basketball other than Hoosiers, what kind of basketball can we expect?
Larry: I would say, and our Head coach Jim O'Brien will definitely agree, an aggressive fast paced, high octane team. That's our goal, yes.
BH: Fine, looking at your roster, I see a lack of depth at certain positions. Any trades or FA signings to come?
Larry: If needed, so it be. We surely won't shy from trades and free agents if we feel that this team isn't good enough to get to the set goal, and that final 8th spot.
BH: Ok, thank you for the initial interview. I'm sure our readers will closely follow the Hoos... Pacers this upcoming season.
Larry: Thank you.

An interesting first day encounter with the Indiana Pacers franchise. Who in the blue moon would know that they have Larry Bird, or as we experts say, "The Other Bird" in charge of their franchise...


Roster Breakdown
written by Bryan Hager, ESPN 8 The Ocho expert

Unlike last time with the Bucks, I won't let the biased Head Coach talk about his team. I've learned on my mistakes. this time around I'll have an real expert, who is at the same time an local Hoosier legend. The man that was supposed to bring glory and titles to the Pacers, but unluckily for him, and every other Indiana fan the at that time management decided to bring Reggie Miller. Yes, I'm happy to announce Steve Alford as the Expert...

Season on the Brink. James Lafferty portraying Steve Alford,
and Brian Dennehy as Coach Knight

- Thank you Bryan very kind of you. There's no really any need to point fingers at Pacers management. They did what they thought it was the best for their team, and now time showed that by drafting Reggie they are remembered as the losing side during the Playoffs in the 90's. I mean, we all know I'm ranked 37th among 100 Greatest college player of all times and have a NCAA title, while Reggie got nothing, he won nothing during his time in Indiana. Like I said no need to point the finger at the GM at that time or the Head coach. They all know they were wrong.

Now, let's talk about the current Indiana Pacers roster. To make it easier for everyone to follow my meaningful thoughts, I'm gonna do an revolutionary thing by splitting the players in two groups: the backcourt and frontcourt players. Probably you all reading this right now are confused. what are backcourt players? Front what? I'll explain, no worries that's why I'm the Expert and you aren't. The Backcourt players are the players who play at Guard positions, and the Frontcourt players are the guys who play at Forward and Center positions. Read this last sentence a couple times and you'll understand what is what. Let's start...

BACKCOURT
At the point there are 2 guys of the same profile. Small athletic guys. Nothing special, of course none of them is on the level I was back in '87.
At the Two spot there are also 2 relatively young and inexperienced players, they probably won't be able to match up against any team with a top class SG.
Overall rating: B-

FRONTCOURT
The lack of depth at the PG & SG is the opposite of the situation on SF. There are 4-5 guys who can play SF, and the one who sticks out is obviously Danny Granger.
At PF & C there's again a huge hole, with only one guy per position, and bums on the bench to back them.
Overall rating: B

The Lineup the Pacers will most likely play:

Collison - Rush - Dunleavy - Granger - Hibbert
and the 2nd Unit
Ford- Jones - George - Posey - Hansbrough

These lineups most likely will force coach O'Brien to play Nellieball, and upon the announcement of Nellie's retirement this team will carry over the Legacy Don Nelson left behind him. Of course they won't become the first team ever to win the title playing 5 small (they could if they decide to hire that young perspective but already great coach from the University of New Mexico), but at least they will be a fresh wind of change with their unique lineup.

Other guys aren't worth mentioning so they can sit back, relax and check out the cheerleaders, or cute girls in the crowd. I know I did that during my NBA days, a lot.

Question is what to do to improve the roster? Well, to get the 50% win mark they'll need one big guy and that's it, nothing fancy. To top the 50% mark and go crazy, they'll need to raise hell and work on trades left and right.
Or appoint me as head coach, I'm tired of NCAA Mid-Majors.



Rest of the League
written by Bryan Hager, ESPN 8 The Ocho expert

Again, Mr. Alford has the word:

- Thank you Bryan. I'm gonna split the teams in groups. The First Group are teams that will make the real run to be the Season 1 champion . Those teams most likely will take the top spots during the regular season, and I would say that there's no real chance that any other team outside this group can win the title (unless of course, some team hires the New Mexico Lobos coach for the upcoming season).
Second group are the teams that most likely will compete for the remaining playoff spots, and reaching the playoffs will be the highpoint of their season. They probably won't go past the first round of playoffs, or if they go that would be just an exception and a huge surprise.
And the third group is made of teams that most likely will miss the playoffs, and they would feel like on top of the world if they somehow managed to get the final spot for playoffs. Beside them I'm gonna put some teams that I have no info about, simply because the people in New Mexico like to watch Latin ESPN, and my Spanish knowledge is limited to approximately 4 word: Chiquita, Burrito, Puta and Tequilla.
And after analyzing every team I will put my prediction how that team would go in a game with the Pacers. So, for example:
(Lakers - I talk about them...........
vs. Pacers: win by 5 <- meaning: LA would win by 5, then I name some cool gamechanging thing/play/situation)
Teams are in no particular order

THE USUAL SUSPECTS

Thunder – One of those teams that has quality on and off the court. Only downside would be the ugly jerseys and the fact that their coach is M.I.A. throughout the offseason and that he most likely will have to check into rehab at least 2 weeks before the start of the season. Other than that there shouldn't be any real trouble getting one of top 4 spots for the playoffs.
vs. Pacers: Win by 10, Rehab works out great for him

Blazers – A team also known as "Glitch team", and a coach that resembles closely to Stan van Gundy. That resemblance will make a lot of good things for the Blazers performance, but also could cost them in important games, because of the Master of Panic resemblance. Overall, a team that will get better as season progresses.
vs. Pacers: Win by 12, can't beat the Glitch

Hornets – Apparently a team that Pacers coach doesn't really like. They play that unattractive game that most likely will make you roll your eyes than give them applause. Another team that most likely will be a lock for the playoffs, and anything but reaching the Final Four would be a disaster for them. Probably the only thing that could stop them in reaching Last 4 would be Katrina 2.0. (editors note: this statement does not represent ESPN's stance on the subject)
vs. Pacers: Win by 15, Read the closing Bob Knight quote

Knicks – Who could imagine that a team that would lose Chris Duhon will be better without him on board? That's the case here. Knicks will tend to overuse the money plays, and most likely will be a team to look for late in the season.
Could they win a title without Willis Reed or Chris Duhon on Roster? We'll see.
vs. Pacers: Win by 2, after double OT

Suns – Probably the biggest winner of the 2010 offseason. With Hedo Turkoglu on board and Steve Nash still as the top Point Guard in the League (and still lesser than Ricky Rubio) they will make another great run in the post-season. Only, the lack of a real center could cost them once they face teams with dominant big guys. Also another thing they will have to deal with, is the reaction opponents will have regarding "the Real Bird" comments made in the offseason.
vs. Pacers: Lose by 40, via Headshot

THE UNUSUAL SUSPECTS

Sixers – Most likely the transition from Boston to Philadelphia will cost them at least 4-5 wins, and for a team that was a lock on for the 5-8th playoff spot they will be a team that most likely is in a 8-11th spot and will have to work hardly for the playoffs. A team with no real star that can pull them in final moments to victory, they will have this season plenty of ups and downs. Probably the only hope they can have is that they will pull some franchise changing trade or get their hands on a great Free Agent. If nothing works, at least they could go all out and win it for Tim.
vs. Pacers: Win by 5, for Tim

Warriors – Will they be able to compensate the loss of Don Nelson? Will Nellieball survive? Are David Lee's stats inflated by NYK style of offense? Can Biedrins shoot over 20% from the FT line? There are a plenty of question right now, and depending on how they will answer them they can go from 5th place in the league all back to the 15th spot. However their coach is a great bloke and mate with his players, so it's expected that they will die on the court for him. Who knows maybe after this season the Queen will honor the Coach with the Sir title or whatever the silly Brits give for their fake heroes.
vs. Pacers: Win by 1, Gamewinning Alleyoop Buzzertbeater

Mavericks – A team that looks nice (or should I say lovely) on the paper, but in reality Kidd is old (yet rated 83) and Chandler has trouble scoring anything that isn't an alleyoop pass dunk that probably would go in even if he didn't jump and catch the ball (Offensive interference anyone?). They can hope that Dirk will pull a pre-"I met a whore, got engaged, she's pregnant, in jail"-season performance.
Probably will have to play their hearts out to get in the playoffs.
vs. Pacers: Lose by 6, Hansbrough with a triple-double

Wizards – Majority of their roster is stuck between the PG & SG spot, and if their young coach can solve that mystery, they will be a playoff team, otherwise they'll need a 2nd rebuilding within 2 seasons. And if this wasn't the only issue, they also made silly comments regarding "the Real Bird" this offseason. At least they can visit Barack whenever they wish, and don't depend on the Title win trip to White House.
vs. Pacers: Lose by 40, another Headshot

Bulls – The last team in this group. They made it here pretty much because they have Kyle Korver and that means someone with a greater range than the usual 9ft limit other Bulls players have. Will Kyle be like Mike? Highly unlikely. Probably another team that can go 6-12th , depending on how things work out, and how they overrate Derrick Rose's range. The coach is a mystery, I must say.
vs. Pacers: Win by 8, Kyle hitting 12 3's

THE EXPENDABLES

Raptors – Often dubbed as the Craptors, now that they lost Hedo. They struggle on all positions, and most likely will be a punching bag for any other team outside of this group. Probably the only possibility to get some main stage light is to: a) Lets some player score over 81 on them or b) hope that they can get the 1st draft pick and that Allen Iverson is available. Probably an 10-15th ranked team at the end.
vs. Pacers: win by 1, 19-18 final score, tied NBA low-scoring record

Cavaliers – Suffered from the same bad luck this offseason with the departure of Shaq, Delonte and Gloria. Would need another miracle to get in the playoffs, highly unlikely to happen. Seem to be 10-18th tied. The only bright ray of light that fell on the Cavs management is the fact that they kept their All-Star guard Mo Williams. How positive that thing is, I'll let you judge for yourselves.
vs. Pacers: Win by 9, to end the 15-game losing streak


Magic – The first team on the list that is a complete mystery to my expert mind. Not sure what to expect, but most likely 3pt shooting will be one of the keys in Magic arsenal. They have Stan van Gundy, already in the Blazers paragraph mentioned how he affects the things on the floor. I say they miss the playoffs, but that's really out of top of my head.
vs. Pacers – Lose by 1, Hansbrough with the gamewinning halfcourt pass tip in

Timberwolves – They lack the Go-to-guy that other (good) teams have, and that instantly makes them no better than the 8th seed. Probably going to be another 13-14th ranked team if things don't work out well for them. Could jump on the Trade machine if they feel stuck in mediocrity for too long, or the season doesn't start as expected. Other team take attention, there might be Freebies given right and left.
vs. Pacers: Lose by 7, strong finish by Hansbrough in final 3:00

Rockets – I Rockets sono una grande squadra. La squadra è bulit intorno Yao Ming e altri ragazzi sono lì come secondario opzioni offensive. Io non ne so molto di loro allenatore, ma presumo a causa della sua età, che ha grande esperienza e conosce il gioco molto bene. Vorrei dire che hanno una buona possibilità di ottenere nei playoff. Let's messe in giro luogo 5-11 ° assoluto.
vs I Pacers: facile vittoria, di 20 punti

Memphis – Another young team, without a real leader, however they have few guys that might take that role (however, with questionable success). They look the best out of this Last group teams, and might even end up stunning someone in the Playoffs. But first things first, they need to find themselves in playoff contention. Other than those few info, they are a mystery, because ESPN Latin America tends to replace Memphis games with Womens Lacrosse.
vs. Pacers: Win by 10, Pacers suck

Kings – One of the most notorious team from last year returns for the new dose of sadistic sell-punishing torment (this is obviously a joke, kthnx). They have a nice chance to surprise everyone and end up high (up to playoff spots) because no one is initially gonna take them as serious playoff spot contenders, so the first 5-10 games could decide their later fate.
vs. Pacers: Win by 5, Beno FTW



Closing comment
written by Bryan Hager, ESPN 8 The Ocho expert

The First season promises a lot of fun, and with bit of luck, like Steve said, the Pacers might turn few heads around

And one final thought, there are plenty of teams that are better than the current Pacers squad. Throughout the season there will be plenty of situations where the Pacers will feel cheated out of victory.
To avoid the drama that occurs, I will quote Coach Bob Knight: I think that if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it.


(As usual: Let's choose the best looking Cheerleader, "The" Pacemate)

Thank you for reading, this ends the Pacers season preview phase, and next Articles can be expected throughout the season, and before/after games.
Discuss, spam, spam with porn, or just talk about Dahnatay Jones.

kthnxbye

fuck, i only had time to read the first lines, up to the coin toss.
and i'm still laughing as the dumbest of the asses for the links.
u'r a genious man, really.
and i can't wait for tomorrow, when i'll be able reading the whole article, to its lovely ending "spam with porn, or just talk about danthay jones".
i adore you.

This must hav taken a lot of time...nice

I thought you posted one of the GPOAT earlier in Bucks, but this tops em all, wow, LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

lovely

@Nello you read the funny part, rest will make you cry, saddest article ever, almost like when Tim left us
@Vince not really, maybe 25 mins to write everything on Friday, and today like 20 mins to put all links, and edit font, grammar check.
So all together maybe 40 mins, or like 2-3 pornhub links with 1 scene in each
@Ante gpoat 2.0 just like katrina 2.0
@crax
precisely

I was thinking *Like oh wow mister bigshot from Indiana doesnt even have a last name...*
oh my god, i'm still rotfling.
tomorrow for the roster breakdown.
great, great piece, man

Season on the Brink was a train wreck. The actor playing Bob Knight cusses the entire time and Steve Alford looks cute. I did like the line in the movie when Knight says to Alford "You couldn't lead a whore to bed"

Factual quote imo

I feel bad for vince, him w/o lebron is gonna weird. lol

IMO seriously he will do great even without lbj. They have still a nice team, and has those videogame players like a. parker.
@Bryan guy playing alford plays the main role in tree hill, where he plays for the bobcats, and can be seen in my avatar
(even without stalking my fb profile people know i love tree hill)

And whats your take on the blog entry? *fears that nibbles doesnt like it*

Epic blog

Obviously I like it. I would say it was a little too much to digest in one sitting. Lots of good material that probably needed to be spread out a little more.

Again, I like the use of pictures.

That Amanda Peet > Sue > Savannah > any other girl. Surely looks amazing.
I wanted to put the whole preview in 1 thing, so I can move on for season blogs. IMO if spread in 3-4 parts they would be lost over 3-4 pages, this way you got the whole thing together
Kinda followed the saying: Strong first post

Like alford said
"Go all out for Tim"

You definitely went hard on the first post. I don't believe in that because you set the bar too high initially. But, at least you gain attention doing it your way.